What do Israel, Pakistan, and South Park have in common? Each has transformed a monotheistic religion into an ethnonationalist political identity that has little to do with that religion beyond its name. In this blog post, I will explore these three cases, pointing out the similarities (and few differences) between them. In the last section, I will discuss two possible counter responses to religion as ethnonationalism: one that I call the “Randy-ChatGPT principle” and another one that I would have called the  “Jesus response” (I will explain later why I have crossed it out!).